What's this?
This sentence comes from "Mencius: Devoting Your Heart". It is twelve words long, but it expresses a piece of wisdom that has been completely forgotten by modern society:
> When you are in a difficult situation, take care of yourself first; when your situation is favorable, then benefit the world.
In today’s words:
> Before you can fly, grow your wings first.
> You are flying, don’t forget there are people below who are not flying.
> Save yourself first, then save others. Cultivate yourself first, then help the world.
Note that this is not the selfishness of "if you are poor, don't care about others", nor is it the moral kidnapping of "if you are rich, you must help the world". It talks about the two stages and two responsibilities of life - whichever stage you are in, you bear the responsibility of that stage. It doesn’t mean that you are always only for yourself, nor is it that you are always only for others. It’s about figuring out where you are now and doing the right thing.
When Mencius said this, he was answering a student's question: "What should a gentleman do in troubled times?" Mencius meant: Troubled times are not an excuse for not cultivating one's moral character, but are precisely the reasons why you should cultivate one's moral character. But self-cultivation does not mean talking about saving the world - if you cultivate yourself, the world will naturally be saved by you. If you can't cultivate well, if you go to save the world, you're just getting yourself involved.
This is not escape, this is sobriety.
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Why is it important?
Most people live in the world with an illusion: I can change the world right now.
So before they can stand firm, they try to pull others away; before they can cultivate themselves, they criticize society; before they figure out who they are, they try to define what the world should be like. The result? If you fall, you won't be able to help anyone.
In the twenty-five years since I came to Europe, I have seen too many people fall into this illusion.
Case 1: The graduate who "wanted to change the world"
A graduate from a prestigious school joined a charity organization in the first year after graduation. His ideal is to "eliminate poverty". He went to Africa and stayed for three months, training and building projects for local people with full enthusiasm.
Six months later, the project failed. It's not because he doesn't work hard, it's because he hasn't learned how to do an effective project. He does not understand the local culture, does not speak the local language, and does not understand the methods of community mobilization. He came with the enthusiasm of "I want to change the world" and left with the frustration of "the world is more complicated than I thought".
He later returned to Europe and spent five years training himself to be a real project manager - learning cross-cultural communication, data analysis, and resource integration. Then he returned to Africa again. This time, the project he worked on affected 100,000 people.
This is "if you are poor, you can be good at yourself, and if you are successful, you can be good for the world" - for the first time, he was "good for the world", but he was "poor" (incompetent), so he failed. The second time, he first "benefited himself" and improved his abilities, and then "benefited the world", and then he really helped others.
In the 25 years since I came to Europe, I have seen too many young people who want to save people before they learn how to swim. It’s not that I don’t want to help, it’s that I can’t help. What Mencius said is not "don't help", but "let yourself be able to help first".
Case 2: Italian family businesses put themselves first before others
There is a workshop making handmade leather shoes in Florence that has been open for five generations. The first-generation founder was a poor shoemaker who only did one thing every day: making each pair of shoes perfect. He didn't think "I want the whole world to wear my shoes", he thought "this pair of shoes cannot let customers down".
Thirty years later, his shoes were purchased by European royalty. The third generation began to fund local craft schools to train young shoemakers. The fifth generation established a foundation dedicated to preserving the endangered art of handmade shoemaking.
I asked the fifth-generation descendant: "When did you switch from 'being good for yourself' to 'being good for the whole world'?"
He said: "It started from my grandfather's generation. But he said something: 'I haven't made my own shoes yet, and I am not qualified to teach others.'"
This is "if you are poor, you can be good for yourself, and if you are rich, you can help the world" - you don't give back to the society only when you are rich, you give back to the society only when you have the ability. Ability is not about money, it is about how you really understand, know how, and can really help people. In the twenty-five years since I came to Europe, the longest-lived Italian family businesses I have seen all understand their own lives first and then help others. It's not because they are selfish, it's because they know that if they don't understand their own lives, helping others will only cause trouble.
Case 3: The doctor who "takes care of himself first"
In the first year of the epidemic, many doctors rushed to the front line, admirable. But one doctor chose to stay at home first.
He is not afraid of death. He is a psychiatrist, and he knows that if he breaks down, he will not only be unable to help the patient, but will also become a burden. So he chose to stabilize himself first - meditate every day, keep exercising, and have a regular schedule. Three months later, he started online psychological consultation and provided free psychological support to frontline medical staff. That year, he helped more than two hundred medical staff.
This is "if you are poor, you must be alone" - in the most chaotic times, you must first stabilize yourself before you are qualified to help others. It's not cowardice, it's responsible. In the 25 years since I came to Europe, I have taught students a principle in the practical business class of pblcoach.com: You cannot pour water from an empty cup. Fill yourself first, and then give it to others.
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This reminds me of Effective Altruism and Circles of Competence
There are two concepts in modern times, which are completely consistent with Mencius’s words.
The first is Peter Singer's "Effective Altruism". He said: Doing good deeds does not depend on how much you want to help, but on how much you can really help. If you donate money to an ineffective charity, your kindness may only help a few people. If you improve yourself first and then help with higher efficiency, the number of people you can help will increase exponentially.
Mencius' "If you achieve success, you will benefit the world" is the Eastern version of effective altruism: it is not "you must help if you achieve success", but "you are qualified to help only if you achieve success". And this "help" is not about moving yourself, it is really effective.
The second is Buffett's "Circle of Competence". Buffett said: I only invest in things I understand. I don’t understand technology stocks, so I won’t touch them. This is not conservatism, this is sobriety - knowing where you are "poor", practice in the "poor" place first, instead of taking risks in the "advantaged" place.
This is "if you are poor, you should be alone" - when you are not capable, it is not to touch things you shouldn't touch, but to honestly make the best of what you are good at. Buffett never saves the world, he just makes Berkshire Hathaway the best. The result? He has more money than most "saviors" can help.
What’s even more interesting is Musk’s “first principles”. He said: I am not looking at what others do, I am returning to the most basic laws of physics and rethinking. This is the same as what Mencius said about "taking care of yourself" - not to follow the trend of society, but to return to yourself, return to the roots, and lay a solid foundation. Only when the foundation is solid can we build tall buildings. If the foundation is not strong, no matter how high the building is, it will be dangerous.
> You must first understand your own life before you are qualified to talk about changing the world.
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How to do it?
1. Honest assessment: Am I "poor" or "rich" now?
Instead of looking at your bank card balance, ask yourself three questions:
- Can I be in the top 20% of the industry in what I am good at?
- Can I solve a complex problem independently without relying on others?
- Can I stay clear and stable under pressure?
If all three are "no", congratulations, you are in the "poor" stage. Don't rush to "be good to the world", first "be good to yourself".
In the 25 years since I came to Europe, I have taught students a principle in the practical business courses of pblcoach.com: Don’t lie to yourself. How big your circle of competence is, how big your circle of responsibility is. Before the circle of competence is expanded, don’t hold on to the circle of responsibility.
2. "Take care of yourself" is not about lying down, it is about cultivating.
Many people understand "keeping to myself" as "I just need to take care of myself and don't care about anything else." This is a misunderstanding.
Mencius' "Take care of yourself" means persisting in self-cultivation, learning and improvement in troubled times. It's not about hiding away and playing games, it's about quietly polishing yourself up while others are anxious, complaining, and going with the flow.
- The economy is bad? Just time to learn new skills.
- Industry decline? I just have time to think about the direction of transformation.
- The team broke up? Just have time to rebuild your own ability system.
In the twenty-five years since I came to Europe, the most powerful people I have met are not the ones who expand fastest in good times, but the ones who practice the most ruthlessly in adversity. During the financial crisis in 2008, there were a few craftsmen in Florence. While others were laying off employees and closing stores, they were learning new techniques and trying new materials. After the crisis, they became industry leaders. This is "if you are poor, take care of yourself" - adversity is not a reason to lie down, but an opportunity to practice.
3. "Being good to the world" is not about showing off, it is about responsibility.
When you really "reach", helping others is not "I am very kind", but "I have a responsibility".
But this responsibility is not about throwing money blindly, doing charity for the sake of patting one's head, or doing a CSR report. The true "benefiting the world" is to use the method you are best at to help the most people.
- Are you an educator? Go train teachers.
- Are you a doctor? Go build a clinic.
- Are you an entrepreneur? To create jobs.
- Are you a writer? To write books that can change perceptions.
In the 25 years since I came to Europe, I have seen the most ineffective "doing good for the world", which is when rich people donate money to opaque charities and then feel that they have done a good thing. The most effective "benefiting the world" I have ever seen was a leather goods maker who spent twenty years training a hundred apprentices - he didn't donate a penny, but he changed the lives of a hundred people.
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when?
"If you are poor, you can benefit yourself; if you are wealthy, you can benefit the world" is not the patent of ancient scholar-bureaucrats, it is the underlying thinking that you can use today:
When you feel that you have "unappreciated talent" - Don't rush to "change the world", first ask yourself: "Am I really 'talented', or am I just 'talented'?" If it's the latter, first train yourself to be truly talented.
When you see someone else successful and want to do the same thing - don't just look at his "da", look at his "poor". Every successful person today has experienced a long period of "being alone". You can't see that part because it's not exciting.
When you want to quit your job and start a business - Ask yourself: "Am I successful so I start a business, or am I too poor to bear it so I run away?" The success rate of the former is 10%, while the success rate of the latter is 1%. The difference isn't luck, it's preparation.
When you want to help someone but feel you can’t do it – stop. Fill yourself first. It's not selfishness, it's efficiency. A half-full person cannot help others and will drain himself dry.
When you have some achievements and start to be sought after by others - be wary. "Reaching" is the stage where people are most likely to get lost. The more "advanced" you are, the more you have to ask yourself: "Is my current 'benevolent in the world' really effective, or is it just to feel good?"
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Where?
The rule of this sentence is applicable everywhere.
In psychology, Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs Theory is the best annotation. You must first satisfy your physiological needs, safety needs, and social needs before you can talk about self-actualization. Self-realization is not the end of "doing good for oneself", but the starting point of "doing good for the world" - the greatest motivation for a truly self-realized person is to "become a useful person to others." This is completely consistent with what Mencius said: first cultivate yourself well, and then radiate out naturally.
In economics, Adam Smith's "invisible hand" refers to this truth: everyone pursuing their own interests will ultimately benefit the entire society. It's not because he "does good for the world", but because he creates value, provides employment and promotes innovation in the process of "doing good for himself". The pursuit of personal interests is the basis of social interests.
In business, Bill Gates' path is the most classic case. When he was young, he didn't think, "I want to eliminate malaria." He thought, "I want every family to have a computer." He first "stood alone" - making Microsoft the best it could be. Then, after "reaching", he established the Gates Foundation to use the resources, contacts, and methodologies he accumulated in business to solve global health problems. His "benefiting the world" is more effective than any philanthropist who "benefits the world" from the beginning. Why? Because he "kept alone" first.
In sports, Jordan's "put yourself before others" is legendary. He was eliminated from the high school basketball team when he was young. Instead of complaining about social injustice, he practiced silently - he was the first to arrive on the court and the last to leave every day. He "worked alone" first and trained himself to be the greatest player in history. He then used his influence to promote the development of global basketball, establish the Jordan Brand, and create tens of thousands of jobs. "Taking care of both the world and the world" - not because he wanted to "be good to the world" from the beginning, but because he first achieved the ultimate goal of "benefiting oneself".
In Italian family businesses, the secret passed down from three generations is not "donate money when you are rich" but "cultivate yourself when you are poor". I have been in Europe for 25 years, and among the longest-lived Italian companies I have seen, the first generation are all poor craftsmen - they don't want to change the world, they just want to do a good job. The second generation began to expand, but still focused on the main business. Only the third generation talks about social responsibility. It's not because they are selfish, but because they know that without the first generation's "taking care of oneself", there would be no third generation's "taking care of the world". This is a sequence, not a choice.
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One sentence summary
> You must first understand your own life before you are qualified to talk about changing the world.
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This article was originally written by Coach Liu. Please indicate the source when reprinting.